You’s a big fine woman….ok, never mind, we don’t need to relive that again. You know, I said I would blog, or maybe I didn’t (if I was smart, I didn’t), more often. Well guess what, I also said I would tap dance, record myself and post it on the site in QT format for all to see. Except, that didn’t exactly happen.

Its kind of pathetic, I started this blog on 1-27 but I haven’t had any time to even work on it at all between then and now. I made it to the end of the week. I really didn’t believe, even on Thursday night, that I would make it at all to the end of the week. Of course, that means its still far from being over. I hope to god that this isn’t going to be the theme for second semester. I will be an absolute wreck if this is the way the entire year goes.

I really have very little to say that is of any consequence or interest to you. I went on the equivalent of a triple date tonight. It was kind of depressing, because I feel like no matter what I do, I will simply have the relationship aptitude of a wombat. I don’t know why, but I am so damned….I mean, every time I think of something to do, I manage to think myself out of it. Instead of just doing it and dealing with the consequences later, I end up overanalyzing what is appropriate for every situation and then not doing anything at all. Its like a comfortable way of ensuring that my relationships go absolutely nowhere but also remain for as long as possible in this false state of pointless limbo.

I have to say, to any potential parents reading this, the best thing you can do for your child, well, one of the two best things you can do for your child is provide them with good, solid self-confidence. As your child grows up, self-confidence becomes so important all the time, and everything becomes smoother when you have greater self-confidence. I really think that many of the problems I encounter and have trouble overcoming stem directly from my lack of self-confidence. Even if I have the ability to tackle an awkward or difficult problem or situation, I manage to get myself out of it or not ever directly address the problem if I can avoid it. In school, personal choices and in my sorry excuse for a social life, I have to spend sometimes hours or days mustering up enough courage to do something simple that most people would do in a flash without any thought whatsoever. And its even worse when people notice, and I feel stupid and incompetent.

And the worst part of all, is when you do stuff not because you want to, but because your friends want you to. And I don’t mean bad stuff or illegal stuff or anything, but just doing stuff you don’t really feel like doing. But you do it, because they’re your friends and you feel like you’re doing them a favor, when really you are only doing yourself a disservice. And I feel like I should do stuff with my friends, because I don’t want to seem uninterested or anti-social or anything, and I always feel like if I don’t participate, that I am missing out on great fun, yet rarely do I really seem to miss anything.

I am too tired to say any more, and I hope what I just said was coherent in the english language.

djno well….djno?

This entry was posted on Friday, January 31st, 2003 at 11:34 pm and is filed under recent happenings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.