rain in my heart

A lack of experience makes it hard to gain more of it.

No one really wants to see the young guy succeed.

It’s easiest to think reasonably/coherently when nothing in your life makes sense.

“The trouble with records is that they’re all the right notes.” -kuderna (i.e. live music rocks)

I agree. Things are more interesting when they aren’t perfect. Also applies to people.

“La Scala sucks though, it’s like myspace in real life.” - me

Sitting at a stoplight in Concord earlier today, it suddenly dawned on me how absurd/funny it was that we were all sitting in these tiny metal boxes with these little rubber things wiping the torrent of large water droplets off of the thin layer of glass that’s supposed to be protecting us.

Driving in the freezing rain can make a person feel alone. Luckily, indie rock/emo puts my feelings into songs. almost as effective as a cup of cocoa, or perhaps more so, and infinitely healthier.

Where did I get this burning desire to be different?

I was watching this anime the other night titled “his and her circumstances.” The main character Yukino Miyazawa is the top in her class for only one reason, which is that she thrives on the attention she receives from her peers and teachers. She is the ultimate vanity whore.

Sadly, I think that’s one reason why i bother with things. I try to maintain this appearance that I am this great person so that I can get as many people as possible to like me. But really, i’m not as special as I would like. Maybe different, but perhaps not in a good way.

Sometimes I wish I was more like “everyone else.”

5 Responses to “rain in my heart”

  1. Becky Says:

    Jesse, maybe I shouldn’t tell you this but…blake continually kids me and quotes me saying the very same thing, wanting to be like “everyone else”. I was lying in bed and in a fit of tiredness told him that for once I would like to be like everyone else…and he said “what is that our of a chick flick” but…my point in posting this is to tell you that, in that respect I know how you feel.

  2. Friedrich Says:

    identity. identity. identity. identity crisis? hehe.

  3. Jesse Says:

    Sometimes = rarely.

  4. anyhoo Says:

    really need to ask you about something, don’t know if it’s important or not. guess that’s why i gotta ask. savvy?

  5. Jesse Says:

    no, it’s not important. i wasn’t referring to a particular person, it just seems that more often than not, it’s the letters a or e, but i suppose that’s fairly common, so i shouldn’t be surprised. anyway, i’ve removed it, because i realized it wasn’t good.

    it was in my text editor, and i was typing stream of thought, and it was late, and i pasted, and i proof read, and i didn’t see it.

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