this is writing!

this is writing after a long time of not writing. you can thank tea’s “girlish charm” for this entry (her words), which translates to referring to this website as “dead. like roadkill.”****

…

i am sitting in a room in a really nice house in a suburb of stockholm, in sweden, listening to dashboard confessional (a rare occurrence, i assure you). with the window open. it’s the first time i’ve opened this window since i arrived. it just rained and thundered and lightninged for the last few hours, and for the first or possibly second time since i arrived roughly a month ago there is a cool breeze blowing, and it feels great. i love the smell of rain.

i love photography, but there is still something really nice about words.

i like poetic things. pictures and words can both be poetic, but there is a different quality to each. i am not sure either is better than the other. mmm, ying and yang. balance is nice.

i wish my illegal download would finish faster.

i have come to love sweden in a certain way, which is really good, because i was highly skeptical after my first week here. a new friend told me that she thinks it is hard to get to know people in this city; that everyone gives off this feeling like they are just doing their own thing. i haven’t been here long enough to really tell how true that is, but i think it just takes time to get a solid group of friends no matter where you live.

i probably should have written something last night when i was feeling wistful and invincible and nostalgic and young and old and loved and alone, but alas, instead i listened to elliott smith as i read about the trials of his life on wikipedia. i think i am becoming addicted to both mobile internet and wikipedia. i swear i look something up on wikipedia on my phone at least twice at day, and check my email at least fifteen. i think maybe i am secretly homesick and just not thinking about it. my relatives are incredibly awesome, but there is just something about living in someone else’s home that is never quite as comfortable as living in your own.

things i am looking forward to:

seeing my girlfriend
having a really good burrito*
drinking a beer from trader joes (alas, still illegally)**
purchasing my lcd (subsidized by family)
putting everything back in my room, minus the clutter***

i think i’m being eaten alive by a mosquito.

*burritos don’t really exist here.

* / **ester, you should drive up just for this. and for crazy stories about sweden which aren’t really that crazy, but are at least mildly amusing. like the time when i went swimming in the baltic sea in my underwear at four in the morning. yeah, that’s pretty much as crazy as it gets. damn, i just ruined my best story…

***tea, don’t let me go too crazy with the minimalism…

****ok, so it also involved saying lots of other really nice things that made me blush, but it’s more fun to take things out of context. just imagine you are watching fox news.